Name: Amy Currently: In Japan on JET Next Endevour: Korea Countries traveled to: Korea, Japan, Canada, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Thailand


   

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Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow, we must fail in order to know, Sometimes our vision clears only after our eyes are washed away with tears



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Wednesday, March 14, 2007
New Life

I'm a changed person.  I'm living in a new place, I'm older, I probably have more wrinkles and hopefully I'm wiser.

I'm back in the real world.  My dream and adventures are going to be put on hold for awhile, something that slowly is killing my inner spirit, but I know that when I am at the point where I know I'm close to death, I'll rebel and fight to the surface to breath life again.

That is my dream life.  It's not to say my life now is completely dull.  I'm finding facinating things each day.  I love the warmth and sun.  I love the feel of grass, the breeze that picks up.  The sound of the water.  The random sounds of the city.  The loud honk of a horn or the screetch of tires relives Seoul's sounds and the sound of the rain pounding sooths my nerves as it did when I was in Alaska.

Peace.  I want peace.  I want happiness.  I want life.  I want laughter and total freedom.


Posted at 02:06 pm by amyjet2002
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Friday, December 29, 2006
Soaking up the Rain

I'm in the land of the rain and wind, where trees dance and pools of rain reflect the dark skies.  I've returned to what was once home.  Now, however, I'm homeless.  Although I am covered by a roof and I sleep in warmth, my soul yearns for somewhere else. 

Now is the time of waiting.  A period of limbo where tears flow and smiles cease.  The heart longs for what it can't have and the mind wanders amongst memories that loom overhead.  The future is beckoning but the past is striking.  Shadows play upon the heart and fear covers the eyes.  The hope for light and new horizons pry at the beginning of each day.


Posted at 04:35 pm by amyjet2002
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
My Dream Man

My friend asked me what I looked for in a man so I am posting what I would like in my future husband...
I was too embarrassed to post in my current blog
( kimichiworld.blogspot.com) so I'm posting it here.

Basically I have lived this life without a man so I'm pretty indepenent.  I need a guy who can understand that.  I need him to know when to give me my space but at the same time to be there even when I say I don't need him...because that is just my stubborn side speaking.
I need a man who knows what I'm thinking so he can do the right thing at the right time.  I need to feel comfortable around him so I can act myself....be it goofy or serious.  I can show him my inconfident side...a side that I don't like to show most people.

I need him to know how to support me when I want to yank out my hair, to bawl like a baby, to scream at the top of my lungs, to jump up and down like a little kid out of happiness....I need him to take that all in.

I need a man who is a little more wild so that I will have adventure in my life (even when I'm 60).  But I don't need a man who will risk life just for it.  I don't want added worries.

If possible, I'd like a man who could sing for I lack in that department.  I would add playing a musical instrument just because I also think music makes life a lot nicer.  I am a romantic and would love him to compose a song and play it on the piano for me.

I want a man who is funny.  I need  serious man, but not so serious where I only hear about the facts.  I need a man who can bring a smile on my face even when I'm crying.  It doesn't mean him making stupid faces but having a good sense of humor where it counts.

I need a man who loves children.  I want to have children someday and I need someone who I know will love them more than he loves himself.  I want him to be proud and not afraid to show his love to his children.
I want a man who can get his hands dirty with his children....playing outside with them or drawing pictures with them.  I guess since I'm here, I'll add patience is a very important part of the raising kids.
I can't have a man who has a short temper.

I can't cook so I'd love someone who loves to create dishes just for the sake of creating them.  I don't mind if he wants me too cook but I can depend on him for a helping hand.

I want someone who shows me new things in life.  Either it be his passion of a hobby or his outlook.  I want to learn things from this man.  So I guess I want him to be smarter than me.  I think maybe this sounds really stupid but I feel if you can learn something from someone, you will never feel a dull moment with him.

I also need to be able to trust this man.  With my life, with my secrets, with my passion.  I want to know he will guard my life with his.  I want to know he would never cheat on me.  I want to know he would never hurt me by deceit.

I guess these are a lot of things to ask for and that it's hard for a man to come along that contain all of these demands.  But as I titled this entry...MY DREAM MAN, I am just letting things flow.

As for physical traits, I prefer a man who has brown or black hair to blonde.  Someone told me that if your partner has a hair color similar to your own, you feel more relaxed and comfortable.  If I could, I want a man who when he smiles, his eyes twinkle.  I would also like a man who has dimples.  I don't know why, but I think those are the cutest things.

I would like a man who is taller than me and well built.  Not macho man but someone who has enough muscle to use it when needed.  If I could, he'd play soccer cuz soccer players have the most sexy legs!  I'd have his back be broad and his chest without hair....ha ha ha...getting a little specific there.

But basically, I want someone who when I'm with them, feel chemestry and sparks.  But at the same time feel comfortable and homey. 

The following is maybe a little harsh but if I had a dream man....I want to be able to fart in their presence and know it is okay.  I want to be able to sing off key and have them teach me how to sing.  I want cook a meal even rats won't eat, but sit down with him and enjoy it.  I want a man who loves to travel and will surprise me with small romantic gifts even if we past our 30th anniversery.

I want a man who is considerate and kind to others.  I want a man who is a man but not afraid to show or tell when he is wrong.  I want a man who has manners and I want a man who will open and hold a door not only for me but other women.  I want a man who cares for the world and for life.

I know if you have gotton this far, you are thinkings, I have high expectations.  I know.  Maybe that is why I have been single for so long.  But hey, a girl can dream, can't she? 
 

Posted at 09:50 pm by amyjet2002
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Sunday, July 17, 2005
Taiko

I just came back home.  I think if I dont' write down my feeling now, I won't do it justice later.  I finished my last Gion Matsuri taiko performance and I am overwhelmed.  I don't know why.  It wasn't like I didn't make any mistakes or that it is my last taiko performance but something about today really hit home.  Was it because Miyada has always had a deep place in my heart?  Was it because Kitahara was nice enough to give me a ride back home so I didn't have to pay for a taxi?  Was it because the players gave up ABARE so I could play Homura?  I don't know.  2 and a half years and it lead up to this.  I am depressed to think I will no longer be able to spend my Sunday evenings going to the taiko group practice.  It has definitely been a big part of my life in Japan.  I have to thank Fujita sensei from Miyada Junior High School.  She asked me one day if I wanted to come watch her practice.  I said yes.  What if I had said no?  I would have never been introduced to taiko.  My three years in Japan would have been very different.  I think I am sooo fortunate to have been part of something so special.  I really have gained so much for this experience.  Not only how to play taiko but being part of a community, building friendships, performing in front of others...its so wonderful.  I think taiko and the people involved have become part of my family in Japan.  I know I'm definitely not a good player but its nice when you start out with a song you think is sooo difficult but at the end of some long weeks of practice and confused looks to play the song with other people.  You feel like you accomplished something.  I definitely know I have come a ways from when I first started.  I still have so much to learn but today the last two songs I did perfectly.  I have to admit, I was proud of myself.  Maybe God was looking over me but it was an awesome way to finish Gion 2005.  We played Fusetsu and Homura.  I was able to do the turn on the front drums and Homura I was able to do perfectly.  I don't think I have done both times perfectly.  I was also thankful that people who wanted to do ABARE to change to Fusetsu because it was my last few songs.....I really appreciated that.  It really touched me.  Thank you!!!  I know you will never read this but really.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  You will never know how much it really meant to me.  I will miss taiko and all the people who have helped me and been so patient teaching me what they must think is so simple.  Thank you for your trust in me and your willingness to share an art so beautiful and deep to the heart.  I will always remember this time spent playing taiko.

Posted at 03:05 am by amyjet2002
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Thursday, June 23, 2005
Farewell

The rain which falls steadily from the sky are my tears which silently fall unseen.  My head feels empty but is pounding with tasks which must be completed.  My rest is awoken and I am left drained.  My heart is also empty and bleeding.  I am a wounded soldier going home.  The wounded soldier has experienced a different land, a different people, and can no longer return home the same.  Reflecting on the people this soldier has met, reflecting on what she has learned, and what she has gained, she is forever changed.
She longs to stay but longs to leave in fear she will become trapped in a web of familiarity.  She needs new breath, she needs new love, and she can't find it here in this different land.
Parting with what she has called home for three years is as hard as saying goodbye to your lover.  She will feel lost and alone but she will start fresh with only her memories and her yearning for the new. 
She will leave behind an angel.  She will bury her slashed heart.  She will thrive on her past travels.  She will drink the sweet nectar of the future. 

Posted at 11:54 am by amyjet2002
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Thursday, May 05, 2005
China

It's crazy.  I have visited one of the great wonders of the world.  Yesterday I climbed the Great Wall with Hugh and Nick.  We got dropped off at one point and hiked across the many towers to the pick up point.  It was definitely one of the harder exhausting days of my life but after finishing I felt a sense of exhileration...it was really nice.  At first we were a little skeptical we were even going to get to go.  We had booked with the tourist information desk but there were only two girls working there and they gave off a really vague sense of professionalism.  The bus ended up just being about an hour late (so much for punctualality).  I dont know why, but I felt like I was dug up from the depths of my sleep cuz I felt soo deathly tired.  I don't know if it was just because of the contrast of the earliness of that day compared to the previous days or what, but I was sooo tired until we reached the actual Wall.  The weather was rather nice almost too hot as I was sweating up a storm climbing the butt of steel stairs.  At some points of the wall I had to take breaks after each tower but as I got use to it became easier.  Anyways, I think that I wouldn't have done it if it wasnt for Hugh and Nick.  They might think I was a total blob as they didnt seem to nearly have the same amount of trouble....I really must get into shape.
So at the end there was a zip line where you hook yourself on to a line that takes you over a lakeish thing.  It looks quite scary but at that point I really didnt care.  I did it and it was good.  It wasn't as scary as it looks.  I have to admit, I'd do it again.  We then were able to take a boat back...saving some more walking.
I was able to sit up in front with the driver on the way back.  The tour itself was quite unorganized because they were switching people back and forth between buses and all but all I have to say is that I give the driver a lot of credit.  It was about three hours there and another 3 hours back and all along the way weaving in and out of traffic.  It is just craziness watching it wall.  Sometime there are four lanes going one way on a two way street.  I dont know how they do it but I would guess their stress level is higher than normal.
Afterwards after we got dropped off around nine we took some showers and headed over to the foot massage place.  It was definitely heaven.  We got put in a private room with three lounge looking chairs and three people came to do our feet.  The boys got girls and I got a boy.  They started with a tub of water with tea in it and then moved on to massaging our shoulders.  Then last they did our feet.  They were really nice and we talked with them.  All of that was only for 49 yuan.  Crazy cheap. 
I should have noted all the things we have done but have been quite busy making the most of our time here.  I think I'll have to make another journal when I get back.  I saved most of my tickets and things so maybe it will be decent.  We shall see.

Posted at 10:07 pm by amyjet2002
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Saturday, April 23, 2005
SPRING

Spring.  New things, new people and most joyous warmth has arrived.  But it means an end to old things.  Three more months and I am off to other adventures.  I am a bit worried, but I guess that is natural for anything new.  Butterflies.
A few days ago I saw one of the most thoughtful and heartbreaking movies.  It made me think seriously about what I have and who I am.  誰も知らない.  I would recommend it to anyone.  I wish I was more open and helping sometimes.  I try but sometimes maybe I don't try hard enough.
English camp this year has moved up a month so it is happening in May now.  Going to be crazy busy but I guess I rather be busy and productive than doing nothing.  I want to savor my last new months.  I am going to Beijing for Golden Week with Hugh and Nick.  Currently there is anti-Japanese demonstrations going on but hopefully things won't be too bad.  I hope just because I look asian and I can't speak Mandrian or Cantonese they will assume I am Japanese. 
But if I don't go now, I will be broke later and maybe won't be able to...when I go I can say I have been to the three major East Asian countries I have studied in college.  I think I will be only in Beijing but because China is so vast, I hope to someday return and experience more of it.
Mom and dad came to visit and while it was nice it was a little sad to know they are aging.  They aren't able to do things as much as before.  Mom's back is giving her a hard time and dad is helping her all the time.  The most disappointing thing is that they weren't able to see the sakura blossoms of takato.  The last day we went down to Iida to see some but it was a shame that they missed it.
The sakura season is like the life of a JET.  You can only experience it for a time and that is why its so precious.  I am coming to the end of my life here in Japan.  I must go forth to other places. 
I took a walk in Ina park the other day.  It wasn't too sunny and it was a weekday (happened to finish Ikebana for school early and had about 30 minutes before my Ikebana in Ina) so went there.  My first year, when I lived in Ina I had walked there and read under the cherry blossoms.  That day too was still in my mind.  It made me feel alive.  I took some pictures but I don't think the feeling of live could be captured.  It made me grateful.
I am grateful I have been granted this opportunity to see sakura.  To eat Japanese food.  To make friends.  To teach students.  To laugh.  To learn oyaji jokes.  To say 'kanpai!' To feel a hangover.  To feel the cold and then be warmed.  To smile and remember all what has happened in Japan.

Posted at 04:28 pm by amyjet2002
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Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Stung

This is my second entry today but couldn't help but add one more.  Learned today that both of the female teachers in the English department, Takematsu and Nakazawa, are being transferred in April.  I don't think a female teacher will come so I am a little dissapointed.  I also heard today when I went to Komako to fill out a paper to send to the board of education that both Ishida and Aoi Ito are leaving.  Hashimoto said that their replacements are both male.  I am going to be surrounded!  No......!!!!  This is crazy!  Nakazawa and Takematsu are probabaly the people I get along the most....um, each year my favorite teachers are being flung far away....my first year Kinoshita sensei and Kita-G.  My heart has a few holes in it already and now with this news I feel it bleeding...
 

Posted at 02:45 pm by amyjet2002
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Graduation


Saturday was graduation for Akaho 3rd year students.  It was a happy and sad time.  It brought me back to my own high school graduation some what seven years ago.  It was good to see everyone so happy but there were also lonely memories.  One student who was overseas for a year was not able to graduate with his fellow friends.  It was a bitter sweet "goodbye."






 


Posted at 01:41 pm by amyjet2002
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Thursday, March 03, 2005
Update

I can't believe I haven't updated this thing.  Um so much has happened....well been on some major trips.  First one obviously was my winter break trip to Thailand.  I went with Carla and Karen and we headed out just before the 18th.  We stopped off in Hong Kong for a night before heading into Bangkok and catching a domestic flight to an island called Ko Samui.  We were there for about a week and attended a Full Moon Party.  It was pretty crazy but not really the thing for me.  The highlight was definitely the snorkeling trip we had.  I think I missed the ocean and riding on the speed boat reminded me of the trips I took on Dad's company boat.

Unforuntately disaster hit while we were in paradise.  What will be labled as THE ASIAN TSUNAMI hit on the 26th...the day after my first warm Christmas.  I was on the beach relaxing when Carla came up and told Karen and me.  I didn't think it was too big of a deal until I saw pictures.  It was still weeks after the initial strike where they were finding bodies....

All I know is that I'm quite lucky to have survived.  It doesn't have so much impact as much as it should but I know I am lucky.  My dad told me I have experienced my lifetime share of disasters....I saw Mt Saint Helens blow its top and I survived a disasterous tsunami and I was alive when 9/11 occured.  I am only 25.  What else will happen in my life time?!

Shortly after returning to Japan I was offered a trip to Guam by Ito and Gamon.  It was very spur of the moment thing.  I received the mail on Saturday and the following Friday I was on the plane to Guam.  I never thought I would visit it.  I didn't even know where it was on the map but I was glad I went.  It was nice even though it was exhausting.  I only took 5 hours of nenkyu.  I only missed one class.  Anyways, left Friday night and arrived early Saturday morning.  The first day we went shopping and to the aquarium and hung out by the beach.  We ate good food but by 9 I was dead tired.  The next day had to be up early cuz I had signed up for deep water diving.  I think my snorkeling in Thailand had sparked my interest in pursing my diving.  I definitely want to try it again.  It is just the most amazing experience.  Definitely a different world down there.  At first I was a little hesitant.  I had signed up for two dives or two tanks and when I went out I was apprehensive that maybe it was a little too much.  I thought I needed a licence but turned out it was okay.  It was the first time out that I finally got used to diving but the second time out I was able to fully appreciate the wonders and the freedom.  I saw so much life down there and even the coral was amazing.

We went to a Magic show our last night and just by chance was the last group out.  We were still finishing out desert (was a dinner show) when the magician and the waiter came to talk.  We got pictures and started chatting.  They asked what I was up to that night and wanted to know if I wanted to go dancing!  He asked me my name...turned out he was from Oregon.  He thought I was Japanese.  Most people did cuz I guess most tourists who come there are Japanese.  I guess I could go there and find a job....and just swim in the ocean everyday and calm my nerves.  Water is so thereputic.

Anyways...yeah....so came back on Monday morning and went to class....
The next trip was just a week after....our trip planned before winter vacation.  We attended the Sapporo Snow Festival....Anyways, my last trip was to Sapporo.  It was on a birthday special thanks to Hugh and Kelly.  We were able to get a roundtrip ticket for 2 man 5000 yen.  A pretty decent deal considering Karen had to pay close to 5 man for her plane tickets.  Our hotel was another 24000 yen but the trip was definitely worth it.  I was a little stressed though cuz I was pretty much in charge and was organizing everything.  It was the last year for the Makonemai Site....something like that.



Posted at 04:26 pm by amyjet2002
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